she was honey
in the arid wasteland
of this broken heart
Writing, poetry, mental illness recovery!
arid, dailyprompt, haiku, poem, poems, poetry, senryu
February 25, 2017 at 4:08 pm
I am enjoying haiku more and more. This is a powerful piece! As a humble haiku novice, I write phonetically track my syllable count. If I may suggest, the second line, might have eight syllables, (ihn-thuu-Air-rid-Way-‘st’-Lah-nnd)…
February 25, 2017 at 11:47 pm
Thanks for the comment! Respecting the syllable count is important, of course, but I remember reading that 17 syllables is approximately the amount one says in a single breath. So, lately I feel that it’s more important than 5-7-5 to be able to say the haiku in a single breath. I think that’s the case with this one. Happy haiku writing and reading!
LikeLiked by 1 person
February 26, 2017 at 12:32 am
Thank you for responding. I was unsure if the syllable count was an absolute or a guideline… Haiku is new territory for me.
February 26, 2017 at 9:30 pm
You’re welcome. I imagine the haiku as a very Japanese form, and so I think if you write it in Japanese, the syllable count should be respected. That said, I think we risk being rigid if we write them in English exclusively according to that format.
February 26, 2017 at 11:40 pm
The chains that are thought to bind poets, are perhaps made of shadow… I find that notion inspiring!
February 28, 2017 at 3:21 pm
I can get behind that notion!
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