Sexuality is a fundamental part of being human. In every culture, the child-bearing woman is venerated; obviously, times have changed with technology that has permitted humans to make love without making babies. Nevertheless, we still have the same sexual instincts as those humans who had no access to contraception.
We seem to enjoy identifying ourselves–I’m Christian, I’m Hindu, I’m European, I’m Jewish, I’m straight, I’m lesbian, I’m gay. We don’t seem to go beyond labels.
The human mind is thus very dualistic: gay or not. Straight or not.
If I’m part of a religious tradition, I may well adopt their sexual codes of conduct. My individual sexuality may thus be subsumed under a cultural or religious sexuality.
If I’m not, then may I have no “easy answer” to sexuality or how I conduct myself.
Living with this lack of an easy answer was difficult for me. My mind wants to know: “am I gay or am I straight?!?!”, but I’ve found that in letting go of this search for security, I’ve found peace.
For me, my sexuality happens to be expressed in a monogamous heterosexual relationship.For others, it may well not be. But I’ve found it important (for myself) not to confuse “finding peace” with “being in a monogamous heterosexual relationship” for me. HOCD convinced me that they were the same thing: to be with a woman (since I’m a man) meant being happy. However, I’ve been in such relationships and miserable. I’ve had to work hard on myself to get to a point where I can see through the cloud of HOCD to actually appreciate this relationship with fresh eyes. And I love my life now, and I’m very grateful for my relationship.
Anyway, if my perspective is interesting or helpful to anyone, here’s a link to my book on recovery from HOCD: http://amzn.to/2mdtR81